Living La Lupe

And while I’m at it…

February 12, 2010 by Vanessa Leave a Comment

Here are the top 10 reasons why I love Olivia (other than the fact that I gave birth to her)…

10) She was born already furrowing her brow like her mama.

9) She absolutely loves being held and would be content to be in my arms all day (a blessing and curse).

8) When she sleeps she crosses her legs at the ankles. It just looks really cute.

7) Her cheeks are so big that she has jowls.

6) She has started doing this new thing while she is latched on and eating, if she hears any noise she yanks herself off and stares at whatever is making the noise until it stops. That includes me talking while I’m feeding her. She just looks so funny.

5) She loves to stand up and she flails her feet around and looks like she is dancing a jig.

4) She loves to watch football with her dad. Seriously, she loves football. When the commercials come on she couldn’t be more disinterested but the second the game is on she is glued to the TV.

3) She has the cutest pout-y face you’ve ever seen. When that lower lip sticks out it melts your heart.

2) Her favorite time to talk is when I am trying to get her to sleep. I’ll hold a pacifier in her mouth and she’ll be blabbing away.

1) I love spending time with her. I love being at home with her. Last week I helped out at a high school retreat for a few hours and, while that was fun and nice to see my old students, I really missed the little squeaker.

Thank God for Olivia.

Happy Valentine’s Day

February 12, 2010 by Vanessa Leave a Comment

I am by nature a very naggy person. I think it’s a by product of being a Mexican woman and coming from a long line of naggers. Poor Brandon, he gets the brunt of it, mostly because there is no one else to nag. I am constantly nagging him to do things and then when he does them, then I nag that he didn’t do it right. I am aware of this ridiculous and annoying habit so I really do try my best to curb it as much as possible. I know I still do it plenty though. It is so easy to be negative and just look at all the annoying things that Brandon does or doesn’t do. Especially now that I’m home all the time, I get all day to think about it. I have really started to put effort into not being a jerk and being a supportive and loving wife. I hate it that sometimes I make Brandon feel like a screw up. Sure he doesn’t really know how to clean the bathroom and his closet is always a mess but does that really make a bad husband? No. Am I a bad wife for not understanding (or really caring about) the difference between Windows and Ubuntu? I sure do hope not because then I’m just up a creek. He is truly a fantastic and loving husband and I am so amazingly lucky to be married to him.

So, because I don’t say it all the time, here are the top 10 reasons I love my husband…

10) Especially when I was pregnant, buts still now, he is always willing to go out and get me anything I want at any time of day. When we’re sitting and vegging out late at night and I mention I’m craving ice cream, he immediately asks if I want him to go get some for me. And he really means it.

9) He always, always takes my clothing or hair advice without question. He just trusts me when it comes to this.

8) He knows how to do anything tech/computer related. It’s awesome to never have to worry about figuring any of that stuff out. If Brandon doesn’t know how to do it, he will spend days figuring it out if he has to.

7) He will dance ridiculously, and I mean really ridiculously, just to bring a smile to Olivia’s face.

6) He will make up songs that aren’t to any tune in existence all the time.

5) I have cooked some pretty awful food since we started dating and he eats two helpings without complaining to prove that he liked it even though I knew it was barely edible.

4) He gets super excited when I show even the slightest of interest in anything technology related. You should have seen him when I told him I wanted to start a blog.

3) He loves transportation and can’t wait to drive on new roads/tollroads as soon as they open.

2) Him and my dad try one up each other by eating the hottest (spiciest) food they can find.

1) He never complained when I made him chaperone high school dances because he is always so supportive of anything I do.

He is my husband and my best friend. As much as he drives me crazy, I love him dearly and can’t imagine my life any other way. Happy Valentine’s Day, honey.

Only in Austin

February 12, 2010 by Vanessa Leave a Comment

Image via Wikipedia

I have come to really love the city of Austin. I really loved El Paso when I lived there and will always love it as my birthplace. I came to appreciate South Bend, mostly because of the Original Pancake House. I even came to really love Houston. But truly my heart belongs to Austin. I just don’t think there is another city like it that has such funny and totally opposite things go together. Austin really is weird and I love it.

One thing that I love about it is that it is pretty easy to eat locally grown/made food without trying very hard at all. At the farmer’s market there are people selling beef, pork, duck, fish, eggs, texas olive oil, every kind of vegetable you can think of, handmade pasta, really anything you might need. It truly is amazing.

The reason for this post is to showcase some of the random things to I have witnessed here in Austin that just made me shake my head and say, “Well, we are in Austin.”

So, only in Austin…
Will you see a one legged man on a Vespa mace a security guard outside of HEB.
Will the resident cross-dressing homeless man run for mayor and actually get a good number of the votes.
Will you eat at a very fancy restaurant and still see people wearing denim shorts and flip flops.
Will you see a man with a black leather hat and black leather biker jacket pulling out lotion to moisturize his hands while waiting at a bus stop.
Will you see a paper mache memorial to a homeless man to commemorate him, not because he died, but because he found a new place.
Will you dress up for a 10K as a bride and groom complete with veil and train and no one really notices because someone is dressed like the Frost Bank Tower.
Will there be a niche market for sushi/karaoke joints.

I’m sure there are more but that’s all I can think of at the moment. My point, I really do love Austin and love that it is my home.

Advice: Makes Life Easier or Harder?

February 11, 2010 by Vanessa Leave a Comment

Image by (Mo) via Flickr

You cut her hair already? That is going to give her a speech delay.

If you don’t do something about those dry spots, she’s going to have eczema forever. It’ll never go away.

You fed her carrots? I think there is something about feeding a baby orange foods that is dangerous.

If you hold her all the time she’s going to be a spoiled brat.

Oh, you’re using cloth diapers? You’ll change.

Sometimes I feel like I am going to scream if someone offers me another piece of unwanted advice. I don’t mind well-intentioned advice of someone really wanting to help you out. I hate the kind that is just veiled criticism. “Oh, you named your daughter Olivia? That means she is going to be dyslexic.” Ok, I haven’t actually heard that one, but you get the point.

Now, I am all for being educated about baby development and basic child care and stuff but isn’t there something to be said for a mother’s natural intuition to care for her child? Every piece of advice I hear has it’s exact opposite counterpart somewhere in the community. You should co-sleep. Co-sleeping is dangerous. You should let your baby cry in their crib until they put themselves to sleep. Letting your baby cry it out means they will become isolated and depressed. You shouldn’t eat foods that might make the baby gassy. You should eat a wide variety of foods so the baby doesn’t develop allergies. Seriously, every opinion about how to raise a child has valid and logical arguments on both sides. So why is it so freakin’ hard to just trust your gut and do what feels right?

I heard of a mom that had to give her 6 month old babies cow’s milk
because she couldn’t breastfeed them and they couldn’t afford formula.
The pediatrician told her that he was “disappointed” that she would do this. (Kids aren’t supposed to get cow’s milk until 12 months) After that, the mom just
lied to the doctor about what she was feeding them and the doctor would tell her that her kids were thriving. Maybe she shouldn’t have given them milk but she had to do what she had
to do and the kids survived. It’s not like they grew a third arm or
anything.

When Olivia was born I started reading baby books to teach me how to take care of her. It is true that I found a lot of helpful things in these books like ideas for games to play with her, how to tell when she is teething, stuff like that. I also found things that have kept me up at night worrying. The worst one: (I’m paraphrasing) “Your newborn will grow up feeling isolated and not trusting you if you let them cry.” Holy cow. This stupid sentence made Olivia’s first couple months of life very stressful for me. O was super high maintenance since the moment she was born and would scream if you put her down for one second. She just wouldn’t let us put her down. Every time she cried I thought I was losing her and that she was going to grow up to hate me. I spent that first month practically starved because I was scared to put her down to make lunch. There were days when I couldn’t even brush my teeth until Brandon came home from work because she would cry if I put her in her swing for a second. My better judgment knew that I love my daughter and would naturally meet her needs but I just couldn’t shake what I had read in that book.

Another one: “When your baby is quiet but alert, this is the optimal time to learn so don’t just stick her in front of a stuffed animal. Use these times constructively.” This led to 3am play times when Olivia was wide awake and I didn’t want to miss an opportunity to teach her something because she was in her prime learning mood. My body was telling me to keep the lights off and sit in the rocking chair with her until she fell asleep again (which is what I should have done) instead of stressing that I was impeding her learning.

Ok, so maybe I was totally overreacting to these statements but as a sleep-deprived new parent, what was I supposed to think? Both statements, after 5 months of parenting, I have realized are just trying to tell you that you shouldn’t just let your newborn cry and cry because you feel like giving yourself a manicure and that you should actually interact with your baby and not just plop them down in front of Baby Einsteins all day.

Parenthood is moderation. I wish someone had told me that it was ok to put the baby down so I could pour a quick bowl of cereal or take a quick shower. You gotta do what keeps you sane.

Plenty of people have very lovingly given me great advice that has saved me at moments when I thought I was going to lose it. Still, I think the best thing that I have yet to hear was when we were talking to the pediatrician at Olivia’s 2 month checkup. We were telling her that O didn’t let us put her down to sleep. We had literally tried every trick in the book and I still had to sit on the couch propped up by pillows with Olivia in my arms so that I could get a few hours sleep. The doctor just looked at us and said, “Well, sounds like you have a high maintenance baby.”

That sentence sent a wave of relief through my body. I just needed someone to affirm that O was being a stinker and that what we were facing was legitimately a challenge. We just needed someone to make us feel like what we thought was hard was actually hard and not us being inexperienced and stupid. I think all parents just want affirmation that what they’re doing is loving their child the best they can.

So in the end, what does me complaining about people giving advice make me want to do? Give advice.

It’ll be better when…

February 10, 2010 by Vanessa Leave a Comment

Image by bitzcelt via Flickr

I feel like I always am telling myself, “It’ll be better when blah blah blah.” I remember thinking in high school – life will be easier when these college apps are done. In college – life will be better when I finally finish this paper. In Houston – Our relationship will be stronger when I move to Austin. In Austin – It’ll be better when we are engaged. Engaged – Life will slow down as soon as the wedding is over. Married – Our relationship will be better once I get this first year of teaching under my belt. Pregnant – I’ll feel so much better after the baby’s born and no more nausea and restlessness.

Then Olivia was born and I caught myself doing the same thing. Having a baby is wonderful and has added so much meaning to our lives but absolutely everything is different and, honestly, more complicated. Sleeping is harder, running to the groceries for milk is harder, going to a restaurant is harder, taking a shower is harder, cooking is harder, cleaning is harder, everything is harder. The first months of O’s life I remember thinking, ok, sleeping will better when…no, sleeping will never be the same again. It’ll never be “easy” again.

I can’t keep thinking things will get better or easier because there is always going to be something challenging in life. O has really taught me to enjoy things in the moment because there is plenty to be thankful about at present. Sure things aren’t perfect but I can’t keep expecting perfect to come around the corner. Life is pretty darn wonderful not being perfect. Olivia is the absolute most difficult and challenging thing that has happened to us but me and Kraft are constantly talking about how meaningful our life seems now. Cliche, I know, but she really does give us direction and purpose. We had direction and purpose before but it was easy to get lazy and put things off.

So here’s to things being the best they can be now and living in the challenge.

Working Title

February 9, 2010 by Vanessa Leave a Comment

Image by Nelson Piedra (nopiedra) via Flickr

Brandon and I have been trying to think of a good name and tagline for this blog. Don’t be surprised if it changes often. Currently the tagline – barefoot, babies, and breastfeeding – is a storefront that we remember and laugh about from time to time. It’s located in Rice Village in Houston and I think the whole name of the place is A Woman’s Work: babies, breastfeeding, and something else that we can’t remember. But we always joke that it was barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen. That pretty much sums up my life right now. Well, not the pregnant part but everything else. So it will suffice for now.

Other ones I’ve been thinking of is the “The Unhippy Hippy” or the “Unyoga Yoga Mom”. We get organic veggies from a local farm but love fast food. We make our own baby food but eat out a lot. My old roommate told me that she was trying to describe me to a coworker once, “Well, she’s kinda hippy. She even makes her own granola.” And yet I would drink Snapple over Sweet Leaf any day. Anyways, it is a work in progress.

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