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From My Point of Pew: 02.16.14

February 15, 2014 by Vanessa Leave a Comment

Readings for Febru191132443_b635a3955f_oary 16, 2014, the Sixth Sunday of Ordinary Time

Vanessa’s Note: Today, we’re featuring a guest Point of Pew by my husband, Brandon.

Last night, we attended the Saturday evening Mass at St. Mary’s Cathedral since today we ran a half-marathon during our normal Mass time. Deacon Ron Walker gave the homily, which I heard most of it :-). I took Teresa into the narthex at the beginning of the homily, mainly as a preventive measure since, if I was celebrating or preaching at a Mass, I’d probably be more thrown off by a kid erupting during the homily than during any other point during the service.

Deacon Ron’s point that stuck with me is one that I hadn’t heard described quite this way before.

In Matthew’s Gospel, Jesus first expands the law. Previously, while adultery was outlawed before, Jesus tells that even just looking at someone lustfully is already adultery in our heart. He tells us that while killing was outlawed by the old law, the act of being angry with our brother makes us liable to judgement.

With that as a preface, Jesus tells us that if our eye causes us to sin, we should pluck it out. If our right hand causes us to sin, we should cut it off.

Deacon Ron pointed out that generally, that order from Jesus is read figuratively, but perhaps it could be read more literally.

Taking both of these aspects from the Gospel today, if we look at them together, Jesus is commanding us to not only see the end result as what we should avoid (adultery or killing another, in this case), but what is leading us toward those actions. Adultery beings with lust. Murder begins with anger. If we remove lust and anger from our lives, we fulfill the law above and beyond simply following it.

Should we cut off our arms and pluck out our eyes? No, because our eyes and arms don’t cause us to sin—we control our bodies and we cause ourselves to sin—but we should cast off what provides the temptation or near occasions of sin.

For me, this reminded me that when finding areas of my life that I’m falling short—through actual sins or simply failing to do the right thing— that I should not only strive to do that particular thing, but should look at the bigger picture. I should find the logical beginning and change that.

What did you hear today? Join in the conversation and leave your point of pew in the comment section.

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What is “From My Point of Pew”? Read here.

Filed Under: From My Point of Pew

From My Point of Pew: 02.09.14

February 9, 2014 by Vanessa 1 Comment

Readings from Sunday, February 9, 2014, the 5th Sunday in Ordinary Time.

Fr. Mike had a great homily today. When he was little there was a kid in his neighborhood whose dad worked at the ice cream factory. The boy’s dad would bring home a new ice cream everyday. He was so jealous. But then one day the little boy invited him over to play at his house. The little boy’s dad showed hiDSC_1163m the freezer and told him that he could eat any ice cream and as much as he wanted. Fr. Mike said he dug in and ate four or five different kinds of ice cream: Drumsticks, etc. He was in heaven. He couldn’t think of anything he wanted more. Then his stomach started to feel funny. You can imagine the rest. He was so sick. In the middle of being sick Fr. Mike said he learned the lesson that sometimes what we think is going to make us happy ends up doing the opposite. Much later in his life, Fr. Mike was visiting his brother’s widow. It had just snowed so he went outside and shoveled her driveway and the sidewalk in front of her house. He thought about it and realized there were several other widows that lived on that street and he went and shoveled the snow off their driveways, too. When he was done, he said he felt like he was on top of the world. He gave thanks God for sending us His wisdom. God’s wisdom is always good and right. Sometimes we want to think what we’re doing is the good and right thing and will make us happy but if it doesn’t come from God than it won’t. As it said in the Gospel, we must allow God’s light and wisdom to work through us. We can’t hide from it or push it away but instead embrace it and glorify it in our lives.

What did you hear today? Join in the conversation and leave your point of pew in the comment section.

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What is “From My Point of Pew”? Read here.

Filed Under: From My Point of Pew

Busted Halo: “La Lupe” is 100 posts

February 6, 2014 by Vanessa Leave a Comment

2885861465_8b4101648a_bI’ve been writing for Busted Halo for four years and today marks my 100th post. In the post I wrote about some of my favs over the years. Do you have a favorite?

It kind of feels like when Kindergarteners celebrate 100 days in school. I’m sure everyone thinks, “Ah how cute but man do you have a lot more school ahead of you.” That’s how I feel about BH. Great, 100 posts but there is still so many ideas floating around my head. Better get back to work.

Thanks to my supportive family and friends that always read my stuff no matter how incoherent it can be 🙂

Filed Under: Busted Halo

From My Point of Pew: Presentation of the Lord

February 1, 2014 by Vanessa Leave a Comment

Readings for Sunday, February 2nd.

As I read through the psalm, this is the first thing I thought…

Today the Holy Cross Vocations Director presided over Mass so his homily had more to do with vocations than with the Presentation of the Lord. But he did emphasize that it is important to discern our true vocation. When he entered the seminary, he thought that if he wanted to be holy, the seminary was the fast track there. But as he was working on a paper reflecting on the vows of poverty, obedience, and chastity, he realized the best examples he had of those vows were his parents who were not consecrated religious. Becoming a priest was his way to holiness but for others it may be the single life, it may be consecrated religious life, it may be married life. But we must be open to God’s call whatever our calling may be.

Whenever I hear this Gospel, I remember the phone call I got when my friend, R, told me she was pregnant. Her and her husband are wonderful and live out their faith so beautifully. When she told me they were going to have a baby the first thing that popped into my head was Simeon’s words:

Now, Master, you may let your servant go
in peace, according to your word,
for my eyes have seen your salvation,
which you prepared in the sight of all the peoples:
a light for revelation to the Gentiles,
and glory for your people Israel.

No, the baby born wasn’t Jesus, but with every baby we have no idea what that baby is going to do in his/her life. There is so much potential. They could be the next Dorothy Day, the next Francis, the next Juan Diego. They are placed on this earth to free the enslaved, to counsel the doubtful, to shelter the homeless, to live their lives for God in service of others. And while what Simeon said to Mary was forboding, he also proclaimed that Jesus would be the savior of his people. May every baby be met with as much hope.

What did you hear today? Join in the conversation and leave your point of pew in the comment section.

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What is “From My Point of Pew”? Read here.

Filed Under: From My Point of Pew

Issues With Our Mothers

January 31, 2014 by Vanessa Leave a Comment

At some point or another, we have issues with our mom. Maybe it is universal — men and women — but I know that for daughters, most of us have a period where we think our mom and maybe our grandmother, too,  is wrong about everything and all we want to do is be different from them.

With the Lily Myers post from yesterday, I’ve been thinking a lot about the development of my relationship with my mother and my grandmother. I can remember for a time in my life pitying them. Thinking they weren’t strong women. Thinking they weren’t “liberated”. Thinking that I u20980980_da1d2cebe5_onderstood the world better. For me, as a woman, this phase was necessary. As a  young child I grew up being obedient to them and not reflecting too much on what they did or taught and just taking it at face value. Then when I moved away to college, it gave me some distance. It gave me some time to look at the matriarchs in my family through the lens of the outside world. The pendulum had to swing the other way. I needed to see them with this hypercritical eye.

But for me, especially after I had kids, I understood La Lupe and my mother much better and understood the strength and the sacrifice necessary in motherhood. Those traits that I saw as weakness turned into love and dedication to their family. Of course, they’re not perfect, nor am I, but after becoming a mother, I see how much of our life has to change to grow a new life around us. How much our behavior, our goals, our desires have to change. And while we strive to support our husband and kids, we know that the line between sacrificing for the family and continually deseatofwisdomveloping our own self and faith is a hard one to walk.

It reminded me of a time when I was taking a feminist theology class in college. Class had just started and a student walked in the door fuming. On her way to class she took a different route and passed a statue of Mary with baby Jesus sitting on her lap that she hadn’t seen before. The words “Seat of Wisdom” were engraved on it. “That’s all Mary is to the Church? Furniture. A chair!”

Even our Mother, the Mother of God, is not exempt from our growing pains. Mary’s seeming passivity and meekness makes her seem a very frail character. But being the Seat of Wisdom is anything but weak. In order for the Word of God to be born through her, Mary had to have unparalleled faith and wisdom to accept the Wisdom of God. She is the strongest of all humanity to be chosen. Being the seat of wisdom is being the seat of power. Not the power to force people to do what she wanted, but she was endowed with the power to do the most amazing thing of her whole life — accept God’s will and raise the Son of God.

Being a mother, I know to expect this kind of reaction from my daughters. I know one day they will think they know so much better than me, they’ll think they understand the world so much more, they’ll think I’m not doing or saying the right thing, they’ll think I’m weak and small-minded. Part of maturing is giving them the space to reject what they know and trust that they will come back around. Most of us do.

Recently during a homily, the priest told us that above all we must love our parents and respect our parents. We have no idea the kind of sacrifices they made for us.

It’s true. We don’t really know what is going on in our parents’ lives. Maybe they have some real struggles that we don’t know anything about. Just like this student and Mary, we may think we understand the big picture, but really only God does. And when we take closer look at our mother, we can probably see that most of what they do comes from a place of love and a place of strength.

 

Filed Under: Family, Parenting, Reflections

Busted Halo: What Our Mothers Teach Us

January 30, 2014 by Vanessa Leave a Comment

In a slam poetry reading that went viral, Lily Meyers tells an all too familiar story about girls who learn to base their self-worth on men and calories. Girls are taught to shrink, she says. I agree…kind of. I think there is value in the lessons her mother taught her.oldphotomotheranddaughters

Filed Under: Busted Halo

Authentic Moment #4: A Husband’s Warmth

January 29, 2014 by Vanessa Leave a Comment

couplesnugglinginbedIf you’ve never read Simcha Fisher’s blog, I Have to Sit Down, you should start. She is opinionated and frank and so so wise. But mostly she paints a picture of a very faithful Catholic wife and mother that doesn’t make you think she is levitating and glowing as she washes the dishes. After having Olivia I scoured the blogosphere for other moms like me and it made me so depressed. They all sounded so perfect and put together. Which was great for them but I was drowning. Then I found Simcha and she made me feel better because what she says is so true. What most impresses me is that despite her signature snark, she is so charitable. She has such an understanding and compassionate heart.  She recently had a miscarriage and part of the post is one of the most beautiful things I’ve read about the love of a wife for her husband during pregnancy:

Last night, I was cold and couldn’t sleep, so I snuggled up against my husband, who is always warm. When I’m pregnant, I like to press my belly against him so that we can all be warm all together, me and him and the baby.  ”Here you go, little guy.  This is your daddy.  You will like him.”

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What does “authentic moment” mean? Read here.

Filed Under: Authentic Moments

Book Review: 2K to 10K

January 28, 2014 by Vanessa Leave a Comment

2,000 to 10,000: Writing Faster, Writing Better, and Writing More of What You Love

I’m not planning on writing a book any time soon but Rachel Aaron’s tag line sold me. I want to write faster, better, and more of what I love.

The first thing that immediately made me like this book was the author’s respect of the reader. She admits to writing this book because so many people asked her the same questions over and over about how she improved her writing speed. She wrote this book out of love for her readers and genuinely wanting to share her system for the benefit of others.

The tone she uses in the book is conversational. Really the book reads like a long blog post (which makes sense because this book started as several blog posts). I’ve read other books that teach writers a system for their writing but those come off as preachy and condescending. Aaron writes as if we were talking over coffee.

This is a good start-up guide for a new writer. It is practical and walks the reader through the whole book writing process from idea flash to editing and read throughs. I appreciated her system of recording what time she writes, how much, and where she is so she gets a better picture of when is the optimal writing time and place.

Aaron’s section on editing did not convince me to love editing but I was interested in her method. When I edit I just start from the beginning and work my way line by line until the end. The system she gives seems much more efficient. It may be non-linear but I like the idea of writing a to-do list of all the edits needed and attacking them from hardest to easiest. I do love to-do lists. I think this one idea could make editing bearable, being able to attack one task at a time instead of just dauntingly facing the whole piece.

I do have to say that this book has a lot of typos. Lots. And the irony of a how-to-write and how-to-edit book having typos is not lost on me. But really this book is like a PSA and is so useful that I don’t mind too much.

Her purpose in writing this book is clear. She is not teaching us but walking alongside us. She has been there in those frustrating and “stupid head-against-brick-wall” problems and she is trying to motivate us and give us the key to get through it.

So if you’re tinkering with the idea of writing a book but don’t know how to start, this is a good and quick read.

Filed Under: Book Reviews

What Are Friends For?

January 27, 2014 by Vanessa Leave a Comment

help
Disclaimer: No penguins were hurt in the writing of this post.

This weekend we had a friend and her son over for dinner. As I worked on a curry veggie soup, she rolled out naan and cooked it in a skillet. The kids all ran around together. Brandon’s mom was in town and she sat at the island chatting with us as we cooked. So did Brandon as he kept an eye on the kiddos. It was a perfect multigenerational, multi-family scene. Then we all sat down to a nice relaxed dinner and conversation. It was soooo nice (despite Lina not eating one bite and Teresa’s bowl ending up on the floor). But later when I was reflecting on the evening, what made it so nice was the feeling that we each, each family, needed the other. I made one thing, she made the other. She asked us for advice and we asked her for advice.

So often, especially after being married with kids, we feel like we have to put the perfect face on when we go out. Even with our friends. And so many times we feel like we’re in this alone, we can’t ask for help because we don’t want to impose on anyone.

But it feels so good to genuinely be of use to another person. We babysat for half an hour for a friend who lives down the street. It was only thirty minutes but she thanked us profusely. It was so great that we could be of service. That someone trusted us enough to think we could help.

Sometimes I see people struggling (and maybe they don’t even realize they’re struggling, maybe they think this is just how life is) and I want so badly to beg them to let us help. Or maybe I can’t help and all I can do is sit there and drink a glass of wine with them while they vent. But I like wine and I like listening. Not because I want to save them. Not because I think I know so much better than them. Not because I think they can’t figure it out. But because I love them and want to be part of their life. What I could offer might just help the tiniest bit but I have found that most times people just need one break, one little moment of relief, one word and everything falls into place. But we have to be open to it for it to do any good.

It reminds me of this scene in the West Wing where Leo helps out Josh:

This guy’s walking down the street when he falls in a hole. The walls are so steep he can’t get out. A doctor passes by and the guy shouts up, ‘Hey you. Can you help me out?’ The doctor writes a prescription, throws it down in the hole and moves on. Then a priest comes along and the guy shouts up, ‘Father, I’m down in this hole can you help me out?’ The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on. Then a friend walks by, ‘Hey, Joe, it’s me can you help me out?’ And the friend jumps in the hole. Our guy says, ‘Are you stupid? Now we’re both down here.’ The friend says, ‘Yeah, but I’ve been down here before and I know the way out.’

Maybe people see us and think the same thing. I’m as guilty as the next person of not wanting to reach out when we are struggling. Usually when we’re struggling, we close up, take ourselves out of the world and buckle down trying to work our way through on our own. How silly. God gave us each other for a reason. Not just to hear about the highlights of each other’s life but to be there for all of it. For the not-so-hard-but-still-a-trial stuff, for the messy stuff, for the gut-wrenchingly difficult stuff. When we feel like we need to pull back from friends, that’s probably the time that we need to lean in to them.

But what I think made this evening so great was that real community doesn’t just take turns saving one another (although if it happens like that its totally fine) but rather walks alongside each other and works through things together. I hadn’t finished cooking the soup when they got here and she hadn’t finished the naan at home so she brought over the dough. And we finished the meal together. That’s what friends are for. That’s what community is for.

Filed Under: Random

From My Point of Pew: 01.26.14

January 25, 2014 by Vanessa 2 Comments

prophetisaiahReadings for Sunday, January 26

In today’s homily, Fr. Bill talked to us about how there are people who believe that Pope Francis is changing the Church but that couldn’t be farther from the truth. In actuality, he said, Pope Francis is trying to get us back to the roots of our faith. Back to the prophet Isaiah who said that the darkness would be dispelled, the enslaved would be free, and the burdened would rejoice all because of the light of Christ. This is why we are called to the New Evangelization. I’m embarrassed to admit, even though I’m a theology major, I’ve never quite understood what the New Evangelization is and while I can take a good guess at what it means, I’ve never heard someone explain it. I know the term has been around since JPII but I don’t remember hearing it enter the popular lexicon until after I had kids and being that, at the moment at least, I have just enough brain cells to keep three little ones alive each day, I just haven’t had the energy or desire to look into it. I just hear the term tossed around all the time. But the way Fr. Bill explained it made it seem like a non-“stuffy” term but rather one that is accessible (which in doing that I’m pretty sure he was living the New Evangelization). I can’t even really remember what he said about it, but at least it planted a desire in me to read more about it and actually figure it out.

What did you hear today? Join in the conversation and leave your point of pew in the comment section.

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What is “From My Point of Pew”? Read here.

Filed Under: From My Point of Pew

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