Living La Lupe

Yankee Hospitality

March 3, 2010 by Vanessa 2 Comments

Image by hankoss via Flickr

I had been to NYC once before this last week but this trip was different. I had a baby. This made all the difference in the world. Getting around NY with a baby gives you a very unique peek into Yankee hospitality. When we arrived in NY I had an instant dread of how rudely we were going to be treated since having the Squeaker with us meant that we were going to be moving around more slowly than most. I could not have been more wrong.

We did a lot of bus/subway/tram rides around town. Let’s say we rode an average of 6 rides on public transit per day and we were in NY for 6 days. Every single time (except for one tram ride) someone gave up their seat for me since I was carrying O. (If you want a visual, I was carrying her in a Moby) I was floored. These hardened New Yorkers were giving up their seats for me. An obviously wide-eyed, naive tourist. How nice.

This hospitality, though, definitely is different from the southern kind. It’s not warm. There’s no small talk. They just do it and pretend nothing happened. It’s just helpful. As if everyone is secretly looking out for everyone else without letting down the icy, don’t-mess-with-me guard. After being privy to this side of NY life, I really saw this attitude everywhere I went.

Our friend, S, broke her foot a few years back and had to walk around with a boot for a while. I think she described it perfectly with the following: “I would get on the subway with my boot and a big, tough guy would get up and offer his seat. It’s not a ‘Oh, you poor thing. Here, take my seat.’ It’s more a ‘Take the seat, bitch’ kind of thing.“

The first time we encountered this was when Kraft was trying to give me directions to Union Square where I was going to meet S. He was going in the opposite direction to get to his conference. The idea of me and O wandering around NY alone was scary but I didn’t want to be stuck at the apartment alone either. We stood there in front of the escalators with Kraft giving me directions and me obviously in a semi-panic when this guy kinda yelled at us across the lobby and asked where we were going. New Yorkers, I found out later, are really used to giving lost people directions. I saw this happen countless times as we rode around the city. Later, S told me that everyone will help you get on the right subway because everyone knows how much it sucks to be on the wrong train and lost.

Another thing I noticed was that the people that offered me their seats spanned all classes, ethnicities, ages, and English-speaking abilities. I don’t remember every single person that offered me their seat but I do remember a middle-aged, nicely dressed white woman; a Hispanic teeny-bopper with a Bob Marley necklace and a crazy strong Brooklyn accent; and an older Indian man who barely spoke English. Seriously, everyone was willing to give up their seat. The second I got on a subway train, if there were people standing, they would start looking at the people sitting to see who was going to get up for me. Kind of like if no one was going to get up right away, the people standing would stare them down until someone did.

I got to see this happen to pregnant women, too. Whenever a pregnant woman would get on the subway or bus I would watch to see how people reacted to her. You could see a line of people trying to catch her eye to offer their seat. They really had a keen eye. I wouldn’t say that people seemed particularly happy or excited to give up their seat, but when duty called, they were ready.

It snowed a lot the last few days we were there and after a lot of snow, comes a lot of melting snow. As the snow melted it would slip off roofs or awnings. One time in particular we had just gotten off the tram and a mother and her young daughter were unlucky enough to have a lot of snow fall on them as they were walking along the street. Immediately a group of people circled them and helped them brush the snow off. It was amazing to see. There really were about 4 or 5 people helping them.

I thought, OK, New Yorkers are just helpful when it comes to somewhat vulnerable women and children in the city. Nope. When we were walking around the Met (which was so freakin’ awesome, by the way), Kraft dropped his map and another guy walking by immediately picked it up for him. No hesitation.

I know New York City isn’t perfect. I know there are lots of problems. But, man, after last week, I have a whole new respect for New Yorkers. I really liked their hospitality. It was a really humble kind. A kind that did not expect any gratitude at all.

Thanks New York City, for having our backs.

The Transfiguration of New York

March 1, 2010 by Vanessa Leave a Comment

Image via Wikipedia

Another way I like to think about Jesus’ Transfiguration is seeing people transformed in front of me. I believe that the true identity of a person is what they would be like if they were perfect. Not perfect as in perfect hair and makeup. Perfect in the way Jesus was perfect. True, none of us is perfect but we have to strive to this Jesus perfection and when we attain that (hopefully in heaven) that is our true self.

When I catch people being selfless or showing love to others, that’s when I feel like I am watching that person’s transfiguration. On a smaller level than Jesus shining bright as light but transfigured nonetheless. Like today when I saw one of my old students giving the Eucharist to an old woman in the back of the church because she was unable to walk to the front – that was him transfigured before me for a second. I know he isn’t always perfect, but in that moment he was Jesus in the love he showed the woman.

I felt that same way about New York this past week. Kraft had to go to a Paulist thing so me and O tagged along so that I could visit one of my best friends, S. I was totally floored by the hospitality that was shown to me and O. Seriously. Floored. People took care of us everywhere we went in NYC. I’ll blog about it more at length in the next few days but it was beautiful. New York was transfigured in front of our eyes.

While New York has its problems, we saw of glimpse of its perfection.

The Transfiguration

March 1, 2010 by Vanessa Leave a Comment

Image by Lawrence OP via Flickr

Today’s Gospel reading (being the second Sunday of Lent) was the Transfiguration. I have always loved this reading, even before I really had any idea what it meant theologically. Since I was younger I just always loved the mental image of Jesus being transformed in front of the disciples. Jesus becoming as bright as light.

I really loved Fr. Bill’s homily today. He started with a story about Mother Teresa. After her death, her spiritual director came out with a book about her spirituality. Apparently when Mother Teresa was a young nun (in her 40s) she heard the voice of God telling her to go do something “beautiful”. She literally heard the voice of God. She described the feeling as being taken up to heaven for a split second. She heard this 5 times in subsequent days and then she never heard it again. We know now how much Mother Teresa struggled spiritually and how on her deathbed she did not feel the presence of God. For the rest of her life she ached to hear the voice of God again. But while she was experiencing this spiritual angst, she continued to follow God’s voice and do something “beautiful” which was to work with the dying, depressed, decrepit, disgusting, downtrodden.

Fr. Bill likened this to what the disciples saw in the Transfiguration. For a second, Peter, John, and James saw Christ transformed as the King and Son of God that He is. Up until this point they had seen miracles, they believed in Him, but this was proof they could see with their own eyes. They were given a glimpse of heaven. Peter babbled on about three tents because he wanted to stay there in that moment but Jesus said no. They needed to move on to Jerusalem. This was just a glimpse of the glory of Jesus.

Whenever we have these moments where we know we are hearing God’s voice or feel that we are truly in the presence of God our soul is filled with a feeling a wholeness and rest. But as quickly as we feel this, it is gone in the next breath. We can’t remain in that moment. It’s heaven. It’s the gift that we can hope God mercifully gives us at our death. We’re not meant to always feel this but we can be grateful that God chooses to give us these little snippets of Love and we can remember them when we feel that God is absent in our lives or feel that God is not answering our prayers. As Mother Teresa knew, our Christian hope keeps us from true misery. Even is we feel God has abandoned us, we can trust fully and wholly that God is there.

Beets Me

February 20, 2010 by Vanessa Leave a Comment

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I’m sure I’ll talk about Community Supported Agriculture (CSA) programs a lot so might as well bring it up now 🙂

Around October we decided to join a CSA with some friends and split a share. How this works is you pay up front to a small, locally owned, organic farm and every week you get a box full of veggies of whatever they harvested. We split a share with some friends because a share can feed a family of four and it halves the price. We began with Hands of the Earth Farm which has now given their farm to the Urban Roots. A fantastic non-profit. Urban Roots is having a CSA but it’s a little more expensive than we can afford right now since part of the money goes to pay for the veggies and another part is a kind-of donation to the program. Maybe one day we will have enough extra income to join this CSA but for now we had to find a different one. We ended up going with Johnson’s Backyard Garden. (Which, by the way, has a fantastic blog if you’re interested in this kind of thing).

Because of this, we have eaten way more veggies than we ever would have otherwise. Not to mention it has expanded our culinary world to veggies I’m pretty sure I would never have given the time of day. Consequently, I have really developed a love of cooking. This is hindered by the Squeaker’s constant need to be in my arms but we do the best we can.

This brings me to my point. In this week’s box we got a batch of beets. Before joining the CSA I had only eaten canned beets when my mom was on this weird diet. They were plain gross. After getting them several times in our boxes I figured I should give them another try. I roasted them several times which turned out good. But tonight I found a recipe that was dee-licious. Roasted Beet Salad with Oranges and Beet Greens. So if you hate beets, give this one a try. It’s very refreshing and not overly beety. I also love that you can use the whole veggie and not just throw out the leafy part.

If it makes it more palatable you can picture Dwight and Mose picking the beets. Hmm, maybe that’s less palatable.

The End of an Era

February 19, 2010 by Vanessa Leave a Comment

Image by lscan via Flickr

Today was Kraft’s last day of work at the UCC. Kraft has spent just about every day inside those UCC doors since August 2002. Holy cow. That is just about 8 years. On that fateful day that Kraft went to Mass at the UCC as a lowly little freshman he came out of Mass and Hung Doan saw him and said, “Hey you, you look like a guy. Come join Lambdas.” And from that moment on, Kraft was hooked. (Thank God he looks like a guy.) The UCC has really helped Kraft grow from a cocky know-it-all freshman to a more humble know-it-all husband and father. What really amazes me is that the UCC encompasses Kraft’s entire adult life. He was 17 when he walked in and is 25 walking out. He has worked full-time at the UCC for 5 years. 5 years. Ca-razy. I have not held a job for more than a year so 5 blows my mind.

While Kraft has grown and learned a lot from the UCC and the people he has met there, Kraft has poured his heart and soul into the place. He has really helped shape the place and has been instrumental for most great things the place has done for the last 8 years. Before Kraft started working full-time, he was being paid for 11 hours part-time but was actually working probably 50 hour weeks. Probably to the detriment of his academic career, Kraft always worked way more hours for the UCC than he would like to fess up to.

Kraft has been vital to the Lambdas throughout the years. Officially he has been the Lambda chaplain and president separate years. But he has helped them through small and very, very large problems. He planned the 15th year anniversary celebration. His door has always been open to the many members that needed to talk out issues with him. While the guys don’t always make the best of decisions, Kraft has always been there to firmly but pastorally lead them back to a path of being good and upstanding Catholic men.

Kraft put together and executed the first Phonathon that will happen for the 4th year this year and is the biggest fundraiser that the UCC does.

He has helped plan and MCed countless liturgies, Masses, Triduums, etc. He has helped cultivate the relationship between the UCC and the bishop.

Kraft has helped put out lots of fires (figurative) from money issues to building issues to differences of personalities on staff to student problems. With so many students coming through the UCC doors along with your usual group of homeless folks that wander off the drag and parents and resident community members, there was always someone that Kraft needed to help or unruffle feathers.

If you could only see the difference between the computer system/server/technology pre-Kraft and post-Kraft, you would be amazed. If Kraft did nothing other than the tech stuff for the UCC, it alone would be worthy of praise. I can’t really say what all he has done, mostly because it is more technical than I understand but he has revamped the staff’s email and calendar, built the computer lab from scratch, designed and implemented the facilities calendar and room reservation system, and then it gets into stuff I can’t explain.

Kraft has improved Student Leadership and has re-started the Knights council that has been dormant for many years.

All of this doesn’t mention the countless hours he has spent planning, emailing, counseling, mentoring, chatting, building community, etc, etc. This is just the stuff I can think of right now and am sure that I am leaving out a lot. While Kraft has learned a lot from the UCC, Kraft has been invaluable to the UCC. I know he has made such a huge impact on the community and on many students’ lives. All his work has not been in vain.

We will always be thankful for the UCC. If it weren’t for the UCC, we
would never have met. Kraft’s best friends are from the UCC.

Thank God for the UCC and the opportunities it has given Kraft. Thank God for leading Kraft to the UCC and making him such a dedicated
servant.

Today is the end of an era. The Kraft era. So, thank you UCC. You have been good to us and will always have a place in our hearts.

So many things to be thankful for

February 19, 2010 by Vanessa Leave a Comment

Sometimes I’m really dumb and complain about things mostly because I forget that I need to keep things in perspective. These are just a couple of the things that have struck me recently that I need to keep in perspective…

I am thankful for Olivia having poop blow outs all the time and farting in public loudly enough to make people shift awkwardly around me because they think it was me. Some babies have a lot of serious digestive problems.

I am thankful that Olivia wakes up every couple hours at night. I was getting my hair cut last weekend and another lady was telling her hair stylist about someone she knew that had their baby’s funeral that morning because the baby went to sleep and didn’t wake up. SIDS.

I am thankful that my husband has been getting home at 9pm or 10pm most nights after working a full day and having to go train for his new job. Some of my closest friends had to grow up with their fathers always traveling for work and only getting to see them every other weekend. Not to mention all the military families that don’t see fathers (or mothers) for months or years at a time.

I am thankful that sometimes I get a little bored and lonely at home. A lot of mothers are not able to stay home with their children because they need to work to make end’s meet for the family.

I am thankful.

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