Can’t Do It Anymore

Image by peasap via Flickr

That’s it.  It’s been almost 9 months of the Squeaker’s horrible sleeping and I can’t do it anymore.  I’ve been fighting sleep training this whole time thinking that her sleep will get better.  It’s not and I am so sick of it.  I’m so frustrated with it and starting to get really resentful.  I’ve been fighting the “cry-it-out” thing because I can’t get those silly books out of my head that say if you do this to your baby they give up and feel isolated.  What changed my mind, other than teetering on the brink of insanity, is when I read in one of those stupid books that “a resentful mom is not a good mom.  So if you’re getting resentful you have to change something.”  I agree.  They also said that crying is a natural thing when you’re trying to change your baby’s sleep habits because they are so used to one thing.  The difference is the baby crying alone or crying in your presence.  At least they know you are there.

I’ll take it.  I’ve found a way in between the super-slow gradual way I’ve been doing and the let the kid cry alone way.  It’s called the “Sleep Lady Shuffle”.  For some reason I really don’t like this lady that invented it which I’m sure I’ll expand upon in another post but I like her ideas. 

So I bought her book today and plan on implementing it on Sunday with no turning back.

I would start today if my parents weren’t coming into town tomorrow night.

Just to give you an idea, I started trying to put O to sleep at 6:30 and it is 9:15.  She has slept the following spurts 27mins, 7mins, and 34mins.  She should have been sleeping for the last 2hrs and 45mins and she has slept only 1hr and 8mins and the rest has been me working hard to get her to sleep.  Can’t do it.  I don’t like being angry at my baby for something that isn’t her fault.  It’s my fault.  I haven’t taught her to sleep and I’ve failed as a parent in that regard.  But not anymore.  Sunday is the day.  Sunday…