This seems like a duh thing but I have to be very purposeful when figuring out my actual opinion of things. There are so many things influencing what I think and what I do that sometimes I think I love something because that’s what all people like me love when really, I hate it.
It seems elementary, but I spent most of last year trying to prioritize and figure out what things I really think are important and what things I do because I feel like I should do them.
Here are some things I found:
- I hate sewing.
- I hate exercising.
- I hate drinking water.
- I hate going to confession.
I made this list, now what? Well, why do I hate these things?:
- I love crafts and I am pretty good at DIY projects. A long time ago I took this to mean that I should love to sew because that’s what crafty people do. But I don’t like to sew. Not even a little.
- Kraft and I have been running with a group that is training for a half-marathon in February. I love the group runs on Saturday but I don’t like running during the week. What I realized is I don’t like running by myself. I like working out with other people. I need the accountability and the support.
- Kraft and I have always loved drinking sodas. When we started running I bought us some Siggs to help us stay hydrated but I never really picked up the habit of drinking water. The cap on the Sigg is not the easiest thing in the world to drink out of. I promise I’m not a diva, but if I don’t enjoy drinking plain water that much, it’s gotta be really easy for me to do or I’m not going to do it.
- As for confession, that’s not entirely true, I don’t hate confession. I love going to confession but I hate the actual confessing part. I hate going to a priest who doesn’t know me or my struggles and I hate using vague, sterile language to describe my own personal sins. I always feel like I did it wrong or like I cheated. I love being absolved. And sometimes we need a drive-thru kind of confession, but I want more.
I do believe that the good things in life are worth a little extra work, a little more forethought, a little more sacrifice. That being said, there are so many things that require us to be disciplined and so many things that are out of our control, why don’t we fix the things in our control. If we can make it easier for ourselves to keep up healthy habits or make good choices than we are so much more likely to choose to do the right thing.
Here are some things I plan on taking action on:
- Stop agonizing over sewing projects. Yes, it would be neat to make clothes for the girls but not if I hate life while I’m at it. Instead, to flex my creative side, I’ll find some crafts I might actually enjoy like this or this. I will buy Halloween costumes for my kiddos.
- After the half-marathon, I’m going to go to a lot more Zumba classes. There is a studio just down the street from our house and it is the most fun I’ve ever had exercising. It’s so energizing. Right now I’ve only been going once a week, but I hope to go a lot more. And at $3 a class, it’s a real find.
- In terms of drinking more water, I scavenged around our kitchen to find some other water holding devices and I found a free cup we got from a bank. Apparently I love straws because I guzzle water from this all day. I’m pretty sure I refill this about 5 times a day.
- Confession. That was a little trickier. I’ve thought about finding a spiritual director/confessor for a while. Well, more than a while. Like for the last 7 years. I’m finally so fed up with it that I emailed a priest I’ve worked with before and asked him if he has time to meet with me. We haven’t been able to work out a meeting time yet, but at least it is forward progress.
Forming habits, especially really good ones, is hard. There’s no need to make it harder on ourselves if we can help it. There are plenty of hard things that we have to deal with. (Like babies who refuse to sleep in past 5am.) So I’m going try and make better the things I can so I can be more patient with the things I can’t.
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